while i was riding a jeepney this morning on my way to work there were three women in front of me who were carrying their babies. i can't help but stare at them. the mothers were holding their kids tightly so they would be comfortable and won't fall. one baby was sleeping, she was about 10 months i think, the other kid was just quietly looking around at strangers' faces the other one was playing with his little purse.


even when i was younger, i always love looking at children's faces. they were so innocent and look like angels. when i look at them i feel joyful, it is like putting myself in their places. no problems or any worries in life at all. no problems, i won't even have to worry about the food i'm going to eat or even the clothes i'm going to wear in case i soiled my shirt. no deadlines, no hectic schedules, no lovelife to worry about not even anything to work for. no past to be neglected nor future to think of. sometimes i want my life to be as light as a feather. i just wanna lay down and close my eyes and think about nothing. when i was a little kid, i always want to grow up, i wanna be an adult immediately. i want to be independent, earn my own money and live my own life. now that i'm all grown up i've realized how harsh life is. my eyes were opened to the realities of the world.
 
why are there people without nothing to eat? why are there uneducated persons? why are there kids in the streets begging for pennies to have a meal for the whole day? why are there children working just to raise themselves or worst their families? why do people have to kill for their principles? why are there murders, robbery, rape? why are there so many questions that we could not answer? why are there problems that we could not solve?
there was once a kid asking me for alms, i asked him why don't he just go home to his parents. why does he have to beg from other people. he told me, his mother gave him away as a little child because she could not feed all of them 12 children. and now he is all grown up (he was 12 years old) he's saving money so he could go home to his mother and tell her he could work now and he won't be any burden anymore.



if only life could be as simple as a baby's life, always given love, always being taken care of, unconditionally.
we are all humans, we came from one race. if we could only be as innocent and loving as a baby. if we could only love one another unconditionally i don't think there could be any hungry person at all.
life would be so beautiful...


    

what's in his smile?
I'm telling myself right now to stop this but my hands keep on moving.
i saw him again today at work, of course.
i can't believe myself, but i had a little progress of discretely avoiding him. we always went home together everyday because we both finish late at work, but this time i finished my work as fast as i could and went home early. he asked me if I'm not going to wait for him, i told him i got other things to do at home. he looked disappointed but i shouldn't care about it. (why am i talking about this again?!)

it would be nice to have a first date to be casual not too formal. a place where you could be who you really are. a walk in the park maybe and lunch in a casual reastaurant. just so you could get to know each other better.
   

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